what if I told you …


what if I told you

What if I told you that there was a magical place where you could hear someone talking about the issues confronting people with limb loss? What if I told you that, actually, it wasn’t someone, but rather, two people talking to each other in a witty, well-paced banter about those issues? What if I told you that this would be a monthly occurrence, that you could listen to these two delightfully entertaining people 12 times a year, kind of like a Book Club meeting but with the extra benefit of not having to read a book to prepare for it?

What if I told you that one of those people was a man and the other a woman? What if I told you that one of them was an above-knee amputee and the other a below-knee? What if I told you that one of them had hair and the other didn’t? What if I told you that the preceding sentence refers to the female and the male, respectively?

What if I told you that each of them had a two-word “handle” in the blogosphere? What if I told you that both of them were old enough to appreciate the meaning of the word “handle” in the context of CB’s, but young enough to employ it in the context of blogs, and podcasts?

What if I told you that one of these people was a witness for the other’s marriage in Las Vegas?

What if I told you that these two brilliant minds came up with a title for this monthly foray into a publicly available web-based discussion that predictably incorporates a word associated with limb loss? What if I told you that both of these individuals get a sour taste in their mouth whenever there’s a story talking about how “inspiring” amputees are to able-bodied writers and readers?

What if I told you that their initial monthly discussion would focus on air travel? What if I told you that, coincidentally, one of these two people would (a) get assigned a seat in row 25 of 26, (b) suffer through awful turbulence, and (c) lose a 3-week old MacBook Pro to the drink the hyperactive 9 year-old spilled into it, all on the same flight, and all one week to the day before this amazing new podcast became available to the public?

What if I told you that the aforementioned poor soul who suffered the hydra-headed indignities in (a)-(c) above, remarkably, did not kill the aforementioned 9 year-old? What if I told you that this person did, however, contemplate doing so, first by drowning her in the club soda pouring out of that person’s suddenly defunct MacBook Pro, and finishing the task by beating her over the head with its now useless but still gorgeous-looking aluminum unibody? What if I told you that the person contemplating this innovative homicide tweeted about it and the first tweeted reply came from the other member of this podcast?

What if I told you that one of these people completed a triathlon in the last year and serves as a consultant to Grey’s Anatomy? What if I told you that the other one of these people finished a 10 mile road race in the last year and, in a past professional life, bought the actual Grey’s Anatomy book to better understand medical issues?

What if I told you that the two people providing this resource began talking about it 3 years ago, but have both been so busy and tied up in other things that they haven’t been able to execute the plan to launch it until now? What if I told you that the benefit of this time lapse for you is that they have a virtually unlimited stable of topics to discuss?

What if I told you that most things that are really valuable cost something? What if I told you that nevertheless, you can listen to this valuable resource for free?

What if I told you that one of these people saw the other person make their first public speech at a large event and got choked up watching it? What if I told you that the person who got choked up frequently talks at length about reimbursement-related issues, making the audience want to choke themselves?

What if I told you that one of these people regularly publicizes that it’s “National Eat a Cookie Day” or some such-related obscure fact? What if I told you that the other person frequently doesn’t know what day of the week it is?

Rather than continue this motif any longer, what if you check out Amped, the new podcast from The Bionic Blogger (me) and The Amputee Mommy (Peggy Chenoweth) the second Tuesday of every month moving forward?

4 thoughts on “what if I told you …

  1. Your blog sounds entertaining and hopefully educational 🙂
    I am an AK who is a pear orchardist in Washington state. I am an airplane and helicopter pilot. My goal is to take my power walking on a treadmill to the next level of running.

    • James – I think “hopefully educational” is a great way to describe my aspirations, if not always my execution.

      Pear orchardist? I’m intrigued.

      The transition from power walking to running is fun and challenging! You may want to consider attending a Challenged Athletes Foundation mobility clinic later this year. Check out http://www.challengedathletes.org for info.

      Thanks for reading and (now) listening!

    • Thanks for the info. One if my intentions for following your Blog was to find out more info on Challenged Athletes Foundation mobility clinic.
      The very first response came with the link!
      Keep up the good work.

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